In The Beginning
THE POOPIE LIST
Potty Humor at its Finest
The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.
Second Wave Poopie
This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Gassy Poopie (The Sonic Dump)
It's so noisy that everyone within earshot starts giggling.
Occurs after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks in the toilet bowl.
Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of poopie that is so big, you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Liquid Plumber Poopie
This kind is so huge it plugs up the toilet and overflows all over the floor. You should have followed the advice from Lincoln Log Poopie.
The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet, cramped, and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Poopie
That's where it hurts so bad coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
Combination of Lincoln Log Poopie and Spinal Tap Poopie. The shape and size resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Fire in the Bowl Poopie
The kind of poopie that singes the hair around your butt on its way out.
Rosy Cheeks Poopie
The kind where you have to wipe so many times it feels like you've sanded off most of the skin on your butt.
The kind that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps coming. You can either flush and continue, or risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
When you drop lots of little round turds that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
Mexican Food Poopie (The Toxic Dump)
It smells so bad your nose burns and everyone else in the restroom rushes out gasping for air.
Upper Class Poopie
Like Clean Poopie, but also leaves no odor.
You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops...a poopie!!!
This kind refuses to drop into the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose, because if you wipe now it'll smear all over the place.
Fisherman's Bobber Poopie
You are in a public restroom with two people waiting on your stall, you poopie and flush two times, but several golfball pieces are still floating above the water line.
Updated Thursday, 22-Mar-2018 13:20:04 EDT